May 2005 Archives

Things I find

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I see these applications for being someone’s girlfriend. All of them are targeted to normal people. I have written one that is designed for the engineering male seeking a female. If you can answer these questions you are my kinda gal.

Girlfriend application

What is your name?

1. What is your age?
a) eighteen or under
b) 494 to 520 fourthnights
c) 1040 to 1092 days
d) 183960 hours or higher

2. Height?
a) 1524 or lower
b) 1524 to 1676 mm
c) 1676 to 1829 mm
d) 1829 mm or higher

3. How accurate is that you height measurement?
a) +- 25.4 mm
b) +- 12.7 mm
c) +- 3.175 mm
d) +-.005 mm I used a micrometer.

4. Hair color?
a) Blond
b) Black
c) RGB=..5C4033
d) I can’t say exactly my colorimeter is in the shop.

5. Eye Color?
a) brown
b) green
c) blue
d) Like I said my colorimeter is in the shop.

6. What is the highest math class you have completed?
a) vector calculus
b) linear algebra
c) complex analysis
d) topology
e) I finish all the math class my college offers so I’m taking them twice.

7. What calculator do you own?
a) Ti-83
b) Ti-86
c) Ti-84+ SE
d) Ti 89 titanium
e) Ti 89 titanium but mine’s overclocked

8. How many functions of your calculator do you know how to use?
a) 50%
b) 80%
c) 90%
d) 100% and I’m bothered that it can’t calculate the gamma of a number.

9. How many functions does your watch have?
a) 2
b) 5
c) 9
d) 37 and growing

10. How long have you had the internet?
a) 6 months now
b) A year or so
c) 5 years
d) Prenatally
e) Preconception

11. How many hours do you spend on the internet per day?
a) 1
b) 2
c) 4
d) 8
e) 16

12. What is the best search engine?
a) Google

13. If someone showed you the number 65,536 what would think?
a) It has two fives and two sixes.
b) It prime factorization is 2^16
c) It the largest number that can be stored in a dword variable.

14. How what is the flow rate when you drink beer?
a) .01253 cubic feet a minute
b) .02507 cubic feet a minute
c) .05013 cubic feet a minute
d) You already knew that 1 beer/min is .012553 ft^3/min so this question was easy.

15. What time do you go to bed?
a) Midnight
b) 1:00
c) 2:00
d) 3:00
e) I don’t sleep

16. What do you eat usually for breakfast?
a) cereal
b) pop-tarts
c) I don’t know I sometimes forget to eat breakfast
d) I pull all nighters so for me just a really really late dinner.

17. What is the hardest class you have taken?
a) complex analysis
b) English
c) Literature
d) Art history

18. Have you used any of the following words in normal conversation (check all that apply)
a) Convergent
b) Paradoxically
c) Involute
d) Quantumatively

19. Have you very called a certain shape parabolic or elliptical?
a) no
b) yes
c) yes and I have called things hyperbolic too.

20. How what languages do you know?
a) English
b) Mathish
c) Basic
d) C++
e) C
f) Z80 assembly
g) All of the above except the first.

21. What is your non-technical vocabulary?
a) 20,000 words
b) 10,000 words
c) 1,000 words
d) 0 words, I never go out of character

22. When describing an car accident to police officer have you ever said “Well you see the union of the set of all points in a car A and the set of all points in car B resulted in non-null set.”
a) No
b) Yes
c) Yes and I was serious.

23. Do you know any of the following things about your computer: clock speed, FSB speed, hard drive latency, CDR write speed, AGP speed or the numbers of CPU pins?
a) One or two
b) Two to three
c) All of them
d) All of them plus I have a program to monitor them

24. How quick can you fix a blinking 12:00 on a VCR?
a) 5 minutes if I have the instruction manual
b) 5 minutes without the manual
c) 2 minutes because you have already committed all your manuals to memory
d) 30 sections because you have so much practice from fixing other people VCRs.

25. I you can in to a room I had the TV in a thousand pieces would you say?
a) “What are you doing you broke the TV”
b) “You better put that back together again”
c) “Wow the insides of a TV are interesting”
d) “Don’t bother I’ve already took it apart”

26. How quick can you find that this is a sex joke? Integral(2xdx,10,13)
a) 10 seconds with a piece of paper
b) 10 seconds without a piece of paper
c) 5 seconds
d) 2 seconds
e) 0 seconds I already know that joke and have used it before.

27. How much would you mind if I go to bed with my clothes for the next day on.
a) That’s just weird
b) Ok but only if you don’t have any pajamas
c) Its an simple optimization of a process, why shouldn’t you

28. How much would you mind if I wrote you a love note and it contained set notation?
a) I would prefer you used just regular English words.
b) I would be indifferent
c) {(me, you) | me<3you} is so cute!!

29. Would you mind if in the middle of making out I said “Ah that’s why my design didn’t work. I forgot to take into account the thermal expansion along the tran-axial thrust bearing”
a) Yes we were in the middle of making out
b) No you are a engineer and you have to do your job
c) No and I would get your reference book and look up the thermal expansion coefficient for you.

30. How would you rate yourself on the hotness scale?
a) 5
b) 6
c) 7
d) 8
e) 9
f) Do you want that in binary or in hexadecimal

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This page is an archive of entries from May 2005 listed from newest to oldest.

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