September 2006 Archives

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than
satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy phucks.

11. People in the 70s couldn't phuck unless there was a wild guitar
solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take
his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the
girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the
bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of chit out of
you if you shove your clock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a
woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patient's diks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best
friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before ****ing the
both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's dik, it's important for him
to remind her to "suck it".

26. azzholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating in a woman's butt is a satisfying result for
all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a
man's trousers and find a clock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one
hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than
satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy phucks.

11. People in the 70s couldn't phuck unless there was a wild guitar
solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take
his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the
girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the
bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of chit out of
you if you shove your clock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a
woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patient's diks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best
friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before ****ing the
both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's dik, it's important for him
to remind her to "suck it".

26. azzholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating in a woman's butt is a satisfying result for
all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a
man's trousers and find a clock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one
hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me liberty or give me death'?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro who had his hand up, "Patrick Henry, 1775." "Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'?" Again, no response except from Pedro, "Abraham Lincoln, 1863." The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history
than you do!" She heard a loud whisper; "Screw the Mexicans!""Who said that?" ! she demanded.Pedro put his hand up, "Jim Bowie, 1836." At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke." The teacher glared and asked again, "Who said that?" Again, Pedro answered, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991." Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!" Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!" Now, with almost a mob hysteria, the teacher said, "You little
****. If you say anything else, I'll kill you!" Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001!" The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh ****, we're in big trouble now!" Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003." Finally someone throws an eraser at Pedro, and someone else shouted, "DUCK!" Pedro: "Dick Cheney, 2006!"